Bruti’s ‘I Must Remember’ List
Posted on 2008 under Dog Humor, Jezzie & Bruti, Just for Fun |25 Apr
Hi fellow pups, Bruti here with a bit of advise! Mom says I am basically a pretty good dog but there are certain things I really should remember so I thought I’d make a list and share it with all you fellow pups out there to help you out. So here’s the list of things mom wants me to remember!
Things I Must Remember
by BrutiI will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet. The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff. (looks like it to me!) I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table. I will scoot my bottom on the grass to rid myself of hangers-on. (hmmm… guess carpet scooting isn’t a good thing then? ) I will not roll my toys behind the fridge. (but it’s so much fun to see mom or dad trying to get them out!) I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house. I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet. I will not roll my head around in other animals’ poop. I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it. (why not?) I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up. I will not throw up in the car. I will not roll on dead birds, seagulls, fish, crabs, etc. I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal poop. (I don’t get this one!?) “Kitty box crunchies” are not food. (only if you’re not a connoisseur) I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing. (well, what goes in must come out, right?) The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. (ok, no diaper pail here but I heard mom say something about this to a friend and thought it would be a good one to mention) I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end. (but it works so well!) I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them. I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging. When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside. We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV. I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the backyard with it. The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps. My head does not belong in the refrigerator, dishwasher or trashcan. I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration. (but it’s mom’s and he’s taking it! Grrrrrr! ) I will not spend more than 5 minutes trying to find the “perfect” place to poop. I will not eat other animals’ poop. (why not?) I will not take off while on leash to chase squirrels while Mommy is standing on a slippery grass slope. (ok, I’ll try not to comment how hysterically funny it is to watch her slip and slide and roll then!)
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by Sammy, on April 25 2008 @ 10:00 am
Yeah! Bruti, you just listed all my favorite things to do bro! haha, great minds think alike, besides, we know, deep down inside the parents love it when we do these things! Woofs!
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 10:01 am
Sammy, I must agree… they have to love it or they would have us right? BOL!!!
by Buddy, on April 25 2008 @ 10:02 am
Bol Bruti, our moms sound a lot alike!
heres a couple of my things to remember
1. Dont bark like a maniac at birds 30 feet in the air
2. Dont Run straight to mom’s bed when I have muddy paws
3. Dont charge through the fence. EVER
what the heck?
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 10:04 am
Buddy, your mom needs to understand that muddy pawprints are just our way of helping to ‘decorate’, birds are there to be barked at and fences…hmmmm… can’t come up with one for that one! BOL!!!
by Butters, on April 25 2008 @ 10:25 am
Hehehehe! Wow! That was good! Most of those things I must remember too! Not so much on the muddy paws and such, because I am not outside long enough to get dirty…but, I also hate the rain…Oh, but the dirty socks and underwear just taste soooo good!
by AIR, on April 25 2008 @ 10:27 am
Bruti and our boy hang out in the same school yard. I know it!
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 10:28 am
Butters, you’re such a tiny little guy, being a baby chihuahua and all, that no one would hardly notice your pawprints! BOL And yes, clothing items have that parent taste!!
by Postal, on April 25 2008 @ 11:23 am
Here is one to add DO NOT bitties the mailman on the butt..(MY Daddy is a mailman)
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 11:26 am
BOL!! Oh Postal, that’s a good one!! Now I can see where you got your name too! Ok, no biting the mailman on the butt!!
by Sassy, on April 25 2008 @ 3:57 pm
Well excuse me but I think this particular request is absurd. There is nothing wrong with this.
“I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.”
This insures us the ball will get thrown. I think your mommy is much too demanding!
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 4:03 pm
Oh yes Sassy, it insures the ball gets thrown alright!!! LOL! And I do have to admit it can be fun to dig it out of the trashcan but that’s not the optimum choice for where it could be thrown!! LOL
by Sasha, on April 25 2008 @ 4:35 pm
Bruti, you are one smart pup!!! Continue to express yourself so eloquently, I thoroughly enjoyed it!
My favorite:
“I will not spend more than 5 minutes trying to find the “perfect” place to poop.” ….and to that one I would add “I will not continue to stop in the busiest street corner to do the poo with my butt facing traffic to mom’s chagrin”
by Admin, on April 25 2008 @ 4:37 pm
LOL!!! Sasha, that’s a good one!!! We don’t have too many busy streets around here but if I ever get around one, I’ll definitely keep that in mind!!!