Bruti's List of the Top Super Powers He Wishes
Hi fellow puppers!! Have you ever wished for super doggie powers to get out outta
things you don't wanna get into, like baths or trouble? Well, I got together with some pals and we put
together a list of a bunch of doggie super powers we wished we had and here it is!!
14. Invisibath -- The power to disappear at the first sound of bath water
13. ViseHump -- The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField -- Immunity to bucket of cold water when copulating in driveway
11. Skeetvision -- The ability to shoot laser beams from your eyes to blast that damn Frisbee
out of the sky
10. SuperBladder -- Loaded with Toxi-Urine -- One lift of the leg and this town is mine!
9. SquirrelFreeze -- Do I even need to explain this one??
8. AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery -- Two powers which when combined allow one to smell another
dog's butt without actually having to get up and move around.
7. John-O-Matic -- Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by sheer force of will.
6. ChuckSpeed -- Ability to catch that friggin' Wagon Train.
5. Anti-Psych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw" nonsense.
4. VacuCalm -- Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner is turned on.
3. GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that sustains itself entirely on designer
2. King Bruti's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into FOOD!
And My #1 Most Coveted Super Power...
1. DoberMorph -- Ability to change into a Doberman anytime someone rolls up a newspaper.